All My Friends – Franz Ferdinand (cover of LCD Soundsystem)

Pain.

What was going on? He didn’t know. His little body was suddenly lifted and smacked into a stone wall, and he felt a blinding pain running down his spine when he hit his back on the freezing, hard surface.

Tears started rolling down his eyes. He wanted his mother, he wanted his sister, he wanted his brother, he wanted his father… And the mean, old man was the only one there, hurting him.

The mean guy approached the nine years old boy, unbuckling his belt, with a devilish look on his glare. The little boy trembled at that simple gaze, and he closed his eyes with the back of his hands, trying to control his sobbing and his tears. He felt the man holding his arm up, almost breaking his fragile bones, lifting him up so that he could stand.

Why was he doing that to him? He just wanted to go home and play with his brother and his friends…

“Stop crying, your little prat!”, he said through his teeth, and then spitted on the floor. “Can you please shut the fuck up?”

“I just want to go home… I just want to go home…”, he repeated between his sobs, feeling the muscles from his arm twitching too hard, like they were about to be ripped apart. “Please, let me go home”

He pushed the little boy against the wall again, and he ended up smacking his nose against it. He could feel the hot blood dripping from it, and the salty taste when it rolled into his mouth.

“Now… just bend over, fucking kid”

And the next thing he know, he was being swollen into darkness.

Alex picked up his notebooks that had fallen on the floor and managed to put all of them into his old and ruined backpack. It was almost tearing apart, but he didn’t care about it – there wasn’t any valuable item in there anyway.

He shouldered it and picked an apple at his kitchen table – his father wasn’t home and his mother was probably sleeping. The house was hauntingly quiet and still, and that bothered him a bit. He liked sounds; and the dark lights were some kind of phobia for him.

Sighing, he took a bite at his apple – his breakfast, as he was getting late for the first day at school – and picked his keys on the coffe table and hurried outside from home. The streets were almost motionless; and that was kinda strange for a morning day in Glasgow. Normally, there would have been cars in almost every signal, beeping to each other and some drivers that were still drunk from the previous night.

Alex frowned as soon as he stepped outside from his house – that was definitely unusual. Trying to ignore that fact, he started walking faster when he saw that he had exactly fifteen minutes to get at the University; and he still had to take a bus.

While he was running for the bus stop, he passed through a dark alley that seemed very familiar to him. Even though he had a short time to get to the college, that alley seemed to be screaming for his name, like it was begging for be noticed.

Alex looked back at it, and as soon as he saw that dirty place, memories came back to his head – the freezing stone walls… The small pieces of glasses on the ground, that had once hurt his knee… The trash cans that had fallen over him when he was thrown right at them…

…And the face of that horrible monster came back to his mind – laughing right at him, seeming to be making fun of the fact that the poor kid was in pain.

Alex could see everything happening again right there; he saw himself, nine years ago, with his huge backpack on his back, twice the size as him; his school uniform, the short blue shorts making his thin legs look even thinner; his untidy hair and the happy smile on his face while he was walking back home from school.

And now, he could also see that man following him down the road, with greed on his eyes and he watched the little boy all alone. A sudden urge itched Alex throat; he wanted to scream for the boy to run away, to save himself, but he couldn’t – and the man accelerated his pace, approaching the little boy. He grabbed the boy by behind, putting his hand over his mouth, preventing him of doing any kind of sound.

And the rest that happened, Alex turned his head. He couldn’t see that. It was too much to watch it all again… To relive that all again.

He shook his head and rubbed the back of his hands on his eyes, and looked once again at the alley – it was empty. There was no one there. No bad guys, no crying boys… Only emptiness.

He shook his head once more and left the place as fast as he could – after all, he was running out of time.

She took my heart, I think she took my soul
Closer – Kings of Leon

Wich is worse: Hell or nothing?
Chuck Palahniuk.

And then, everything stops in here. In the station where there is no way back and no way further. Traped in your own cage, not being able to taste freedom. The boulevard of broken dreams, I’d say. I was alone on that line, the line between Death and Life, heaven and hell.

Was someone going to rescue me? Or I just had to wait for the - impossible – blown of Death? That would take me away, finally feeling the sweet relief of Death.

Or maybe… This agonizing feeling… Is my Hell. My personal hell. Was it? I think it was, because I couldn’t bear it anymore. There was no flames, but I was constantly burned by the fire of my sins, I was haunted by the people I had already killed, I was tortured with the blood, the same blood that made me do terrible things.

Or maybe it isn’t hell, this could be purgatory. And it seemed that I’d never get out of here, at least not sane.

I felt empty, all that was inside of my was thirstyness, hunger, remorse and pain. I’ve forgotten how love felt, I’ve forgotten how good it was to be cuddled to someone when it was cold, I’ve forgotten how the rain would make chills run through my body, I’ve forgotten how beautiful it was to see a smile. I was completaly empty.

I needed to get out, I needed another chance, I needed to go back in time…

I needed Sophie back.

I looked down at my hands, full of blood, and so as my t-shirt. I finally had stop running, and
I looked behind; I was really far from London now. Five years had passed since I reborn, and I have ran away from Dougie and those two freaky sisters. I didn’t want to live the way they did, like wild hunters that didn’t care with other’s feelings.

They kill for pleasure, not only because they were thirsty.

I sat on the ground, breathing heavily, trying to clean out the blood that was all over me. I was getting near a village, and it wouldn’t be nice if someone sighted a guy stained of blood.

Especially a guy who was supposed to be disappeared.

After the incident in that house, where me and Dougie were transformed, and Danny and Tom were – gulp – murdered, the news have spread all over the newspapers and on the tv; supposedly, the band McFLY has disappeared, and no one had ever seen them again. After four eyes, the situation was calm again, but it wasn’t the brightest of ideas if someone saw me.

That’s why I’m always at run, hided, trying to be oblivous from the world, and that’s why I never said goodbye to my girlfriend, Sophie.

I knew each other since we were little, and when I was seventeen, I started falling for her.
She gave me a lot of support when I decided to enter McFLY, and she always tryied to be in all the possible gigs. Soph was the perfect girl; she had long blonde hair; wich she always was too lazy to comb it and it was always messy – but in a sexy way. Her green eyes were hypnotic, I couldn’t stare at them too much without imaginating us together. She was a bit short, and when we kissed for our first time, I wrapped my arms on her waist and pulled her up, so that we could stay at the same height. I constantly made fun of her, calling her a shortie, making her laugh and sometimes get angry with me.

But them we usually kissed and it was alright again.

Her laugther, like a child one, was the most beautiful I ever heard, and it was killing me the fact that I was forgetting it. Her voice, sounded a little strange and off tone for me; it wasn’t the melody it normally were.

I was starting to forget her, and I couln’t handle that. I had to keep a good memory of her, that was the only thing that would make me hold on to this hell that was my life.
Then, I thought the most stupidest idea ever; but that idea already created rooths on my mind, and it wouldn’t leave without being completed.

I was going to visit Sophie.

I let my feets lead the way, not caring in being hidden. I was static, couldn’t think of any other thing besides the love of my life.

While I was walking towards the vague memory of her house, I didn’t see the area sorrounding me. I didn’t see trees, I didn’t see houses, I didn’t see people passing by, I didn’t see little animals; I was in a state of trance; all I could see was the memories that I’ve lived together with Sophie.

I saw her with seven years old, crying because she had hurt her knee trying to ride a bike all alone. I saw myself, getting at her side, comforting the unknown girl. I took her to my house, that was near by, and my mother did a curative at the cut on her knee.

I saw the both of us, four years later, under one umbrella, trying to get home without getting wet by the rain. We were laughing, because we were already completaly soaked and the tiny umbrella wasn’t so useful.

I saw, three years later, when things between us started to get strange. I didn’t see Sophie as a normal girl anymore, she looked unique beautiful in front of my eyes. She arranged a boyfriend and a mix of feelings confused me; I had a huge anger upon that boy, even though I’ve never met him. I saw we fighting, and she stumped out of the room with tears falling off her eyes.

We did not speak for a year. Only after long, endless months, we finally made up, and now I could see the both of us hugging and murmuring “I’m sorry” to each other. She had dumped her boyfriend, and now I could see that she was beggining to look at me the same way I looked at her.

I saw she wishing me good luck before the audition of McFLY, and kissing me in the cheek. I saw that I looked like a complete idiot because I got blushed and almost trip at on my own feet. She laughed, and I laughed along with her; I could hear once again the sweet melody of her voice.

The next memory made me smile. We were on a a party, ilumineted by candles; it was playing the Beatles, and there was a lot of people dancing on the dancefloor. Sophie hold my hand and lead me outside, where no one could see us, we could be alone. It was a starry night, with no clouds on the sky. The wind was blowing slowly, but cold; when Sophie shivered, I borrowed her my jacket. I was helping her putting it on when she suddenly grabbed my tie, pulling me closer to her, wrapping her arms around my neck. I placed my lips on hers, feeling that she was smiling. I closed my eyes and put my hands on her waist. I had to bent down a little, so I hold her tightly and pulled her up, making her feet swing a few inches from the ground.

That was the same night that I’ve told her that I loved her more than my soul.

When I realized, I was in the front of her house, and I’ve already knocked on her door. No one answered right away, and when I looked around, I saw that everything was the way it always have been: there was a large yard and garden, sorrounded by fences so the dog wouldn’t ran away. It was a remote place, it was near a forest and occasionaly cars passed by.

I knocked on the door again, getting impatient. I needed to see her, I needed to hear her voice…

My heart, if I had one, would have jumped when someone opened the door. Eletric chocks ran in my veins, and I had to hold myself for not jump.

Sophie was standing right in front of me.

“Ha… H-Harry?”, she was wearing a large t-shirt, that I recognized that was mine, that I gave to her. She was wearing a sweatshirt on top of it, and an old pair of jeans. Her hair was messy – like always -, but tydied up on a ponytail. Her face suddenly lighted up when she saw my face, and I saw that were paths of tears on her cheeks. Her eyes were read, like she had been crying for a long time.

I entered her house and kissed her; holding her tight, afraid she was going to fade. She was still Sophie, and it felt good seeing that the distorted memory I had of her was partially right. I lifted her from the ground when she started kissing me back, passing her hands through my hair. My stomach started to contract, and my throat was burning – but I had no desire at all on tasting her blood. All I wanted was to continue kissing her forever.

However, something was wrong, because she started pulling me away, trying to make her let go. I was caught by surprise, but I answered her wish; I put her on the ground again and stopped kissing her.

“Harry… They are here”, she said, in a low, deep voice.

There was panic in her eyes, and she seemed scared.

“At least, you are here”, a voice behind me said.

I recognized that voice, and I turned myself, just to find Ash sittied on the couch, with a huge smile on her face. There was a knife on her hands, and it was filled with blood.

“I’ve been looking for you in five years, love.” Ash said, standing up and walking in my
direction.

Instinctively, I hold Sophie in my arms, trying to protect her from Ash when she came pointing the knife at us. A large snarl passed through my teeths and she hold the knife in the direction of Sophie.

“Dougie told me you used to have a girlfriend, and that her name was Sophie Hastings”, Ash continued to say, a smirk on her lips and her eyes burning red. She cleaned the blood on the knife with her finger and then licked it, enjoying herself “It wasn’t really hard to find her, you know”

“What do you want?” I snarled again. Sophie was shaking, frightned. She wasn’t really found on dangerous stuff, and she hated horror movies. I could feel her heartbeat, that was in a fast and unusual rythim.

Ashleigh started walking on the room, playing with the knife in her hands. She looked at me, a sarcastic smile on her face.

“You already asked me this once, love.” she said, and Sophie’s eyes went wide, surprised.
“And my answer is the same: I want you.”

Before I had the chance to reply to her, I felt Sophie escaping from my grip, and she started screaming. I looked at her, and saw that Lindsay, the blonde one, was there, trying to shut Sophie up. When I was about to strike her, Lindsay hold Sophie tighter and opened her mouth close to her neck, showing the row of razor sharp teeth.

“You don’t want to do this”, Ash said, and I heard a noise of a door being opened. I looked at the back door, where Dougie suddenly appeared, expression-less and looking at the ground. So, he was supporting the both of them too?

“I thought you were my friend!” I yelled at Dougie. He didn’t looked up, he continued to stare
the ground. “I don’t know you anymore, Dougie”

Lindsay hold Sophie tighter, making her moan of pain. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“What do you want from me?!”, I asked, not being able to see Sophie suffering because of me.

“You ran away!” Ash said “I thought we could live together, love”

“I’M NOT YOUR LOVE!”, I screamed, and striked her, making us both fall on the ground. The knife cut my arm, but it didn’t hurt. She laughed and I heard a scream of pain.

I looked back, and Sophie had fallen on the ground; Lindsay had just broken her legs.

“Why can’t you just leave me?” I said, anger starting to boil in me, getting up before Lindsay started to hurt Soph again. “Bite another guy – I’m sure he’ll fall for you!”

I wanted to go to Sophie’s side, but Lindsay hold her again, tighter this time, while she was sobbing of pain. There was bruises all over her wrists, and her leg was twisted in a strange way. I started to panick; there was nothing I could do. If I attacked Ash, Lindsay would hurt Sophie. If I tried to get near Sophie, Lindsay would hurt her. There wasn’t nothing I could do unless leaving Sophie…

But that was too painful for me to consider.

“Bitch”, I said under my breath.

Lindsay started to scratch Sophie’s arms, creating large and deep cuts on her skin. Blood
started to pour down, and I could see the looks on Lindsay’s face – desire. That uncontrolable, seductive feeling of the scent of blood, calling, yelling at us, screaming for us to get closer…

Lindsay tasted Sophie’s blood on the tip of her finger, and her eyes suddenly turned red. She tighten her grip on Sophie’s waist and wrists and opened her mouth again, in the intetion to bite her arm.

“NOOOO!”, I screamed, but someone was faster then me.

In just a second, Dougie had launched himself on Lindsay direction an sank his fingernails on her shoulder, making her release Sophie. He throwed Lindsay on the ground, making the whole house balance of the shock of the two bodies falling on the floor.

She tried to get up, but before she was able to do anything, Dougie punched her on the face , making her feel dizzy and fall on the floor again. She recovered herself and bit him on the hand, almost taking his finger off. He screamed, and Lindsay took control, sitting on top of him, her legs firmly on his hips, preventing him to go away.

I couldn’t believe in my eyes. Was Dougie trying to help me or what?

I helped Sophie to get up, carefully because of her broken leg. When I hold her arm, it slipped because of the blood on it… And suddenly the scent invaded my lungs.

Sweet, addictive, intoxicating mead.

But when I heard her sobbing of pain, I controled myself, and stopped breathing, so that I wouldn’t smell the blood’s scent.

I got distracted, trying to help Sophie, when suddenly I felt someone pulling me. I looked back and Ash was there, trying to separate me from Sophie. She pushed me to the wall, and I felt the concrete backing behind my back, along with the broken glass of the paiting that was there. Pieces of the wall and the paiting fell on the floor, and it was with so much strength that made me feel disoriented. Everything was spinning fast, all was a complete blur and mix of colors.

Blinking and trying to stay in my foot without falling, my vision started to get better and I didn’t felt dizzy anymore. I saw Sophie on the ground, and Ash next to her, holding the knife on her right hand. She smiled to me sarcastically.

“This one is for you, love”.

She hold the knife higher, and descended it, sunking in Sophie’s chest, in direction of her heart. Sophie screamed as soon as the metal touched her skin and started contorting herself, trying to breath. She tried to move her legs, but it was paralyzed; and she couldn’t escape from it because Ash was holding her, and she was sinking the knife deeper and deeper on her chest.

I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t think, I couln’t raciocinate.

I launched myself in the direction of Ash, and when she had fallen on the ground, she hit her head on the table. I sat on top of her and started punching her, not feeling sorry at all; remembering all the bad stuff she gave to me; remembering that she was the one who created me an monster, remembering that she was the one who made me a killer, the one that caused me kill inocent people, the one who caused me feel remorse, remembering that she was the guilty one for my two bestfriends were dead, remembering that she was the one
who tryied to kill my girlfriend, the loved of my life.

She was already gasping for air, but I hold her up and throwed in the windown door, making it all break when she went through it. Once again, I went in her direction and bit her on the neck with all my strength, making her see all the pain she had caused to me, all the pain that was inside of me. I did not felt sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.

Not feeling sorry at all.Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all. Not feeling sorry at all.

“I’m… not…feeling sorry…”, I started saying, breaking her ribs one by one. “AT ALL!”

She screamed one last time after I bit her again in the throat. Before I realized, I had already riped her head off.

“I’m not feeling sorry at all”, I repeated, when I saw the motionless and torned body on the floor. “Not at all”

I ran back to the living room, and I found Sophie, still breathing and screaming of pain. Her eyes were filled with fear; and I think she feared me. Dougie and Lindsay were still fighting, but Dougie was the one with advantage.

I sat next to Sophie, holding her hand. There was a piece of broken glass near her, and I saw my reflection; my eyes were in vivid red. I looked at Sophie again, and she tried to get away from me. She couldn’t, and even if she tried, I was holding her.

Blood was covering her arms and t-shirts. She had a few seconds to live; she was already losing consciousness. The scent of blood was really appealing, and now more than ever… And
I think I wouldn’t be able to resist. My muscles were twitching, tightening, asking and begging for the blood. My mind was sppining again, the only thing I could focus was on the wond on her chest and the blood dripping from it.

The venom was burning my throat like it never were, and my stomach was contorting. I needed… I needed to taste her blood.

“I’m sorry, I love you”, those were my final words to her.

I closed my eyes when she did the same and leaned in her direction, holding her arm and kissing it gently. The blood poured on my mouth and I felt it with the tip of my tongue, pratically going mad. It was the best I’ve ever tasted.

I opened my mouth a little and bit her on the wrist, feeling the liquid descend on my throat, calming the burning feeling. It was really sweet; and I started sucking harder, not being able to stop. I heard her screaming in a low, cracked voice.

And all of sudden, she didn’t had the strength to scream anymore.

And I was sinking deeper on my personal hell.

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

So good you got to abuse it, so fast that sometimes you lose it
Corrupted – McFLY

I looked at a small picture of Sophie. She was smiling, her cheeks were red, and so as her lips; she was smiling like she always did, overflowing happyness. It was so contagius that I started to smile too, but it suddenly faded when I remembered what had happened to her.

And how that was my fault.

There’s always a line. A line traced between right or wrong, private and public, love and hate, good or bad, Evil or God, Heaven and Hell, life and death, dark or light, and many others. That line, can be thin, with no one noticing its presence, or it can be really big, making people afraid of what comes in the other side.

“Don’t cross the line”, everyone says. However… What would happen if you crossed it? Or, what would happen if you step on it? Would it make the natural balance of the sociaty to collapse? Would we be dealing with internal chaos? But there’s something, a tiny something, that makes everyone be appealed and seduced to see that line, the biggest error of the humanity: Curiosity.

Curiosity? Yes. I would consider it a sin. It makes you want to see things you shouldn’t, makes you do bad things, makes you seek for something that most of the times, it’s unworthy of time and energy. Men have the need to know everything, that’s why it never stops doing new descoveries, new researches, new technologics; all of this is just to have the power of knowledge.With that, they can control the most things we would never dream about, everything in the center of their hands. Nevertheless, there’s something the men will never be able to take control of. And that is Death.

No one can predict Death. No one can save someone from Death. No one can escape from Death. No one can stay in the thin line between life and death. But of course, there’s always one exception.

Myself.

Was I dead? Was I alive? Was I dead AND alive at the same time? And the most intriguing of all, can I die?

I’ve been asking this for a long time, but no one seems to have the answer for this. So, even me don’t have the answer for all the questions involving the Death.

Once I turned the way I am today, I never wished so much to die. I’ve already tried suicide, but the venom did not made me even sleepy; the knife I used simply made no effect at all, since I didn’t bleed out; I couldn’t die by suffocation because I could handle not to breath for a long time. So, there was no way I could die. Even sunlight didn’t kill me, it just made strange burns all over my body, that were healed with time.

Since the day I was “reborn”, my heart didn’t beat anymore. Breathing wasn’t something essential, but after a long time – like two, three hours – it starts to bothers me and I have to inhale again. As I didn’t bleed and there wasn’t any blood in my veins and my heart was like a cold stone inside my chest, I didn’t considered myself alive. However, I could talk, walk, drink and eat; everything a normal person would do. I considered myself alive by that.
So, was I dead or alive? Or I was just stepping in the line, and no one could push me on either way? Was I going to stay there forever?

Curiosity, the biggest problem of humanity. Knowledge, something that the humanity seeked.

Life or Death, something unreacheble for me.

And who am I?

Harry Judd, former drummer of the band McFLY. Vampire. Negligible creature. A monster. A killer. You choose what represents better for you.

Breaking some popular myths: silver or wooden crucifixes don’t affect me. My fangs aren’t long, but they are sharp and pointed. My skin isn’t so pale, and sunlight doesn’t bothers me. Ok, a little, when burns and rashes starts appearing on it – and also, I don’t sparkle like diamonds like some stereotypes emerging out there. I may have gotten a little stronger, but my appearence didn’t changed. I don’t transform into bats or rats, garlic doesn’t affects me, and I sleep, I sleep a lot; otherwise I would be tired and energy-less. And what’s the other way of getting it? Through food!

I can eat human food, but it never saciates my appetite. Speaking of which, I’m always hungry. And thirsty. I can spend the whole day eating normal food and I’ll be hungry. That’s why I can’t control myself when it comes to my kind of food…

Anyway, after that day, I never was the same again. And so as Dougie.

I woke up and I was at that same house. I felt weird, my head was spinning and I couln’t see straight. There was too many colors in the room for me to associate, too many shadows, too many traces, too many things… Too many information! I tried to cover up my eyes, feeling them burn behind my lids. My throat was completaly dry, and it was aching for water. There was a mix of sences; moisture, wood, rusty metal, the ferric smell of old pipes, seedy courtains… It was a confusion of to many data.

After my eyes were accustomed with the lightining, I opened them slowly, seeing that I had fallen off the bed and I wasn’t wearing any shirt or jeans – only in boxers. I frowned, confused, but I got up, feeling all my muscles tighthen as I tried to lift myself up. After that painful work was done and I was already on my two feet, I looked at the windown right behing me. And it was snowing – such a funny thing, because I remembered we were on the middle of the summer. It couldn’t be snowing!

It felt like I was on one hangover, but it was really worst than all that I have felt. After putting pants on, I went down the stairs, trying to find the boys, but they were no where to be seem. I went to Danny’s room, and I surprised myself on seeing that everything he had brought on his trip was there, in a strange way… Like all have been left behind. Like he was on a runaway and he left all behind. Intrigued, I went to Tom’s room, and found out it was exactly as Danny’s.

What the hell was going on there?

That’s when I heard a noise coming from Dougie’s room, sounding like a scream. Alarmed, I went in the direction of his room, jumping at two steps at a time on the stairs. I opened the door with such an strength that it fell on the ground, making a flump sound on the floor.
When I looked at the scene in front of me, my mouth fell wide open.

Dougie wasn’t alone in the room. There was a girl too; she had blonde, shoulder length wavy hair, that was covering partially her intense and blue eyes. She didn’t seem to notice me at first, she was too busy occupied having her clothes being taken off by Dougie, that was licking her on the neck. A shiver went down through my spine when I saw that there was blood dripping on his chin.

A shivered even more when I noticed that the girl was covered in blood, and Dougie was enjoying himself by licking it… And he seemed to find it very tasty and pleasurable.

The both of them didn’t seem to be bothered with my interruption, and Dougie smiled at me, moving away from the girl. I suddenly remembered her; she was one of the sisters that the car broke down… Was her name Lindsay…?

“Ah, Harry!”, Dougie said, looking up to me. His physiognomy was completaly different, he was smirking in a sinister way; and his eyes, once blue, were in crimson red. I never seen him like that… So dark, mysterious… “You finally woke up!”

He cleaned the blood that was dripping from his chin, and that was the time when I finally have captured that sweet, ferric taste that seemed to come from heaven. All of the sudden, my whole body was urging to taste it, to go near that girl and feel if the taste of the blood was so good from what I was imaginating. My throat was never this dry, and everything else on the room suddenly disappeared. All that I could see was that path on the girl’s bust, so appealing, so seductive… I felt a odd liquid run down my throat, it was hot and it made my thirsty multiply.

I needed to taste blood!

“We were beggining to get worried about you”, Dougie said, interrupting my thoughts. “How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty”. I answered without thinking twice, and I was surprised to hear my voice sounding hoarse.

Dougie laughed, in a coldly way, and that innocent, childlike boy I knew disappeared, fading at the echoes of his voice.

“I guess you really are” Dougie picked up his t-shirt and told me to follow him, and the girl on the bed blowed him a kiss.

“I’ll be waiting for you to come back, to finish what we have started”, she said, in a deep, seductive voice.

Bloody hell, that red liquid on her body was making me go mad! Agonizing pain, that made every muscle of my body to turn on her direction… I arched my back, like a cat preparing to attack, planning on a strike… But Dougie simply patted on my shoulder and pushed my out of the bedroom.

“Come on. I’ll show you some food”, he said, in a sarcastic tone; there was a cinic smile on his lips.

I got confused, but he simply ignored my face. We walked past Danny’s and Tom’s room, and I frowned. Where the two of them were?

“Dougie?”, I asked, when Dougie started leading me outside. He was only wearing a t-shirt and boxers, and I, only a pair of trousers, with no t-shirt on. It was snowing, but even though I couln’t feel it freezing… It felt like nothing at all against my skin. “Where are Tom and Danny? I looked up for them but I didn’t find them anywhere…”

Dougie stopped walking and turned around, and there was a machiavellian smile on his face. He showed no feelings at all when I mentioned their names, just that sarcastic smile.

“Humans.” Dougie answered simply, like I was about to understand everything he just said.

I loured, and Dougie sighed. He faced me again and them talked slowly, like a grown up talking to a child.

“They were humans.”, he repeated “They are our prey. And we are the predators. You do the math.”

“You are joking”, I said, not believing in a word that he had just said.. “What’s that crap about them being human, and us the predators? Are you drunk, Doug?”

Dougie smirked again, and laughed, like I just had said the most stupid thing in the whole world.

“You don’t know a thing, do you?”, he said, ironic “We… We have been changed, Harry. We are not the same again.” I guess I should have been staring at him like an idiot, because he sighed again and returned to explain me. “We, are like humans calls, vampires. We feist on their blood. And Danny and Tom were on the wrong time and at the wrong place…”

It all started to make sense to me. The urging desire to taste blood… The fastidous pains I have felt when I woke up, the thirstyness, the dry throat… And then, I remembered the night where I have sleept, and finally wake up this morning… Ashleigh, sister of that girl that was on Dougie’s bed, had crawled to me in that night… And she had bitten me.

“Are you talking serious?” I asked, startled. “Please tell me it’s just a joke.” Dougie shake his head in a negative way. “AND OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO TOM AND DANNY?”

“I was hungry”, he said, plainly.

My face was pure shock.

“Come on, it’s time for you to eat something. You must be starving”, Dougie said pushing
me, holding my arm. I realized that we had walked a long distance, because the house we where was already far away from our vision. He pointed at a forest right in front of us.“This forest is near a village, and there’s always people passing by… The main thing is… Just let your instinct act for you, try not to thing to much.”

“What the hell are you saying?”, I asked.

“I’m giving advice to you, so you can pick up your own lunch. Now, have fun!” he said, patting at my shoulder and then turning back, on his way back to the house.

I would follow him if I haven’t felt my stomach to contort, asking and demanding urgently for food.

“Damn it”, I said to myself.

That’s when I scented that sweet smell again, the one that vigoroulsy made my head to spin and spin, knocking me out of the consciouness; I felt that strange liquid fall down my throat again, asking for blood. As Dougie said, I completaly shut down; weird shocks went through all my body, making me hunch my back, regardful for where that scent would be coming from. I sniffed the air, felling it coming from the Northeast. I ran into it direction, just to find an young-adult girl walking peacefully and stilly, with earphones and hearing to some loud song.

My lips curled into a smile when I started following her, and she didn’t seem to notice.

When she was already far away from the village, still behind the trees, I walked faster, and suddenly appeared on her front. She looked startled and frightened, and she let one of her earphones fall. I smiled to her, inhailing heavily to feel that sweet and itoxicating scent coming from her.

“What… What do you want?” she said, stumbling on her words.

Aaah… She started to get even more frighthened when I walked up in her direction. Her blood was being pumped faster, something that appealed me; it scent being more presentable. I couldn’t stop myself now, it was so addicting, intoxicative, that made my loose my mind and control, all I wanted was rip her into pieces and feel that sweet mead.

“Hello, there”, I said, and my smile open widened, and she seemed to be alert when she saw the row of razorsharp pointed teeth.

The last thing I saw was her terrorized face, and I launched into her direction, making her fall on the floor. I hold her wrists tightly, because she wouldn’t stop moving, and I think I broke her legs, because she was crying and yelling of pain. I didn’t care. I just wanted her to shut up so that I could enjoy my lunch – quoting Dougie.

She yelled her lungs out when I finally gave up on trying to make her shut up, and I approached her neck, planting my teeths on her smooth and dark skin. When I felt her blood start to pour down my mouth, euphoria was all I could feel. Better than any other food, more addicting than any drug, more intoxicating than other drink… It was pure bliss.

I stood there, suckin her blood, and eventually she stopped screaming and moving. I did not cared, I wanted more. But suddenly I felt it empty, and I released her wrists and crawled away from her, sitting next to a tree. My throat had stopped aching and my stomach wasn’t hurting from hunger anymore; I felt pleased, satisfied. I hated to admit this, but this was the best feeling I ever felt… Even better than sex.

I looked at the dead body in front of me; and I stopped my gaze at the girl in front of me. She looked young, like sixteen or seventeen years old; she had dark skin and curly black hair, and her eyes, opened and motionless, were as the same color of her hair. She was beautiful.

And now she was dead.

Remorse started to take control of me. I felt sick, like I was about to throw up. Have I just drank blood? From a poor young girl? Have I just turned myself a murderer? I stood up, confused, and sorry for the girl in front of me. I killed one person… Just because I was hungry. That didn’t made sense!

I started running, not nowing where I was going. I let my feet led the way, not worrying in trying to come back to the house. I remembered Danny and Tom, my best friends… They were now dead. Because of Dougie.

It was too much, too much for a guy – can I still be considered a guy? Am I human? – to handle.

Death is something no one can control.

Even me, the killer.

I want it now, give me your heart and your soul
Hysteria – Muse

I’ve never asked for this life, and never desired it.

Besides making others suffer, I suffer each and every day, seeing that I’m the cause of pain. But I can’t control who I am, and I can’t deny I’m a monster.

My dry throat asks urgently for that drink that makes me endure the pain I feel inside me – the obssesion. I can’t ignore my instincts, and it hurts when I try. My only option is give up and accept my burden.

Why I received that course? One little word, one long story: lust.

It all started a few years ago, when I was twenty years old. I was part of a band called McFLY, and along with my mates, we decided to travel for a bit, to get inspiration to write songs and to relax. We rented a house far from our city, in the middle of nowhere, in a way that no one would bother us.

Anyway, at night, we started watching television, and it was passing a horror movie. We watched it – Dougie almost shitting on his pants – and in the end of it, the lights went down, and there was an loud noise coming from outside. It was storming, and a lighting nearly reached the house we were in. The strong wind blowed, breaking the windown right in front of us, making the rain soak everything, and we were in the dark. The only light we could see was coming from the lightings outside.

“What’s going on?”, I asked them. No one replied to me.

The hole house was dark, I couldn’t see anything in front of me. I could feel the water coming from the broken windown, soaking all the carpet of the house. The storm was getting heavier, like it was trying to demolish the house we were in.

The four of us screamed like little girls when someone knocked at the door. The lights suddenly came back, and so as the television and the phone. The chandelier above us swinged in a dangerous way, like it was about to fall. The three other guys looked at me and to the door, saying to me to open it and see who it was.

I walked in direction to it, and I was relieved to see that it was two girls, all wet because of the pouring rain. I couldn’t stop staring when I saw their clothes glued to their body, their wet hair falling on their back in a messy and sexy way, and they were extremely beautiful.

“We’re really sorry for interrupting, but our car just broke down”, one of them said. She was short, with a blond, shoulder length hair. Her bright blue eyes were sorrounded by big eyelashes, wich she blinked every time. “We would really appreaciate if we could use your phone for calling a mechanic or something”

I looked at the guys, and they couldn’t stop staring at the two girls either. They nooded, and I pointed at the telephone, that was on a rusty table at the corridor. They passed through me, walking in the direction of the phone. I stood there, dazzled, by a few seconds, and them I went back at the living room, and sittied on the couch.

“They are hot”, Dougie said.

We all agreed, and stoped talking when they came back, pretending we were watching the tv.

“The phone is mute”, the blond one said. The other one, also short, with balck hair stared at me, with her foggy grey eyes, like she was trying to see through me.

“Oh… You two can wait a bit, if you want to” I said, smiling. “Untill the service is back again”

“Thanks” the blond one said. “I think we should introduce ourselves… I’m Lindsay, and this is my sister, Ashleigh, but she prefers to be called by Ash. And you four are…?”

Dougie stood up, with a grin in his face, and stopped in front of them.

“I’m Dougie, Dougie Poynter.” he said, emphasizing his name. He pointed at each one of us when he was telling our names. “And this is Danny, Tom and Harry”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you” Ash finally said, but it sounded somehow… Sarcastic. Like she was saying something totally different, and only Lindsay could understand what she was saying.

I looked at Lindsay and then at Ash, remembering that Lindsay said they were sisters. They had absolutely nothing in common, except the flawless and pale skin, and the strange and almost non-human beauty of them.

I showed them the bathroom, so they could put on some dry clothes. The phone wasn’t working, so we offered them to stay there, waiting for the storm to end. They agreed, and as we had an extra room, they could stay there.

When it was really late we were off to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. The storm outside was really loud, and I had a strange feeling that something wasn’t alright. Something was about to happen, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But it was all silence, except from the rain oustside and the snorings coming from Danny. Everything was peaceful… At least that was what I thought.

However, a few hours later of that agonizing feeling, I heard the door of the room being open. It was one of the sisters, and I could see that it was Ash because of the dim light coming from the lightinings outside. She was wearing only a t-shirt that I have lent to her, and she wasn’t anything besides her red, lacy underwear underneath it. I gulped, trying to focus that I had a girlfriend.

“Ash?” I asked. “Do you want something…?”

“Yes, I do.” she answered, getting closer to my bed. “I do want something”

She reached the bed and started crawling, getting closer and closer to me. I forced myself to lock my gaze into her eyes, and not at the t-shirt that was extremely large on her, making possible to see inside the collar of it.

“What… What would that be?” I asked, trying not to stumble on the words.

I tried to move away from her, but she pulled me closer, crawling on top of me. She closed her eyes and started kissing me on the neck.

“You.”, she answered, looking at me, with a huge malicious smile on her face. She put one of her hands in my neck, pulling me, so she could place her lips on mine. The other hand she rested it on my chest, slowly sliding through my body and reaching my abs, making my muscles twitch.

“Ash… Sorry, but I already have a girlfriend” I said, trying all my efforts to push her away.
But she didn’t move an inch. She seemed to be stronger than me, and that was really weird.

“That doesn’t matter.”, she replied, and before I could stop her, she had already ripped off my shirt. “I don’t care”, she murmured on my ear.

“Please, I’m asking you to stop!” I yelled, but she didn’t seem to care. It seemed to be enjoying her, in a sick way of making her feel pleasure. Again, I tried to push her away, put she simply intensified the kiss, and started scratching my back with her longs and sharp nails.

Ok, I can’t deny it. She was a extremely good at it, but I tried to keep the image of my girlfriend in my mind, always trying to push Ash away. She didn’t seem to care, and suddenly, my jeans were off. She stopped kissing me on the lips and started tracing paths with her tongue in my neck, and then coming down untill my waist.

That felt extremely good… And suddenly the image of my girlfriend faded, and it was replaced by Ash. I couldn’t think straight anymore, all that came in my mind was the thought that Ash was taking too long to…

“STOP!”, I said, when she was about to take my boxers away, interrupting my line of thoughts.

She seemed to heard, because she raised her head and started looking at me. I breathed heavily, relieved that I had finally stopped her.

However, she smiled victoriously, and she came back, her face inches to mine.

“I am the one who says when to stop, love”, she said, with the grin on her face. She blinked at me, and her face and expression suddenly changed. Her eyes were shinning in vivid red, with her pupils like a cat’s one; a cinic smile on her face and her lips pulled up, showing a row of white, razor sharp teeth.

Panic took control of me.

I could feel my hear hammering in my chest, and when I tried to dodge from her, she hold my arms, with an un-human force. I tried to fight, bu she seemed way stronger than me – and she was so tiny and small, looking almost fragile!

I heard a scream coming from Dougie’s room and I distracted myself. In the next second, it was an excruciating pain when her teeth planted on my throat. I screamed my lungs out, feeling that pain paralyze my body, but it didn’t stoped. It was everything I felt, I seemed to be burning in Hell’s fire and swimming at a pool full of shards of glass. The pain, like razors cutting every inch of my body, went down through my spine, and everything was dark. I couldn’t see straight, but all seemed to be burning, making my head spin.

The pain was so intense that made me pass out, and when I woke up, I wasn’t the same again.

Ah, glorious day!

It wasn’t cold nor hot, it was a perfect balance between it. The wind was blowing softly, playing with the leaves on the park, the sun was rising and shinning in yellow, and all the remains of the cold and dark night had disappeared.

Tom Fletcher looked at the sky, being pleased with the weather. It has been a long time since it didn’t got sunny the way it was today, and his happyness could be found on the sweetness of his smile.

He left his cloak at home and decided to go to his favorite place: the city park. It was really early in the morning, but he didn’t care; he didn’t like to sleep too much. He liked to be awake, feel the air passing through his face and body, his blood pumping on his veins and his heart beating. He liked to feel alive.

He sat on the ground of the park and started to gaze distractingly at the people passing by. Loads of people passed in his front, and he liked to observe how they looked like; one of them had a funny mustache, other woman had a mustache, an old lady was squeezing her eyes trying to look after her glasses, little children were playing a game, couples were holding hands and chatting out loud.

Everyone was happy. Even him, Thomas.

He got up to his feet, bored of just sitting there. He helped the old woman to find her glasses, picking up the small pair on the ground and putting on her hands. She picked up the glasses and put them where it belonged, and then smiled at Thomas.

“What a gentleman!”, she said, patting her hands on his cheeks “Well, thank you very much”

“You’re welcome”, he said, and he watched as the woman walked away.

He got out of the way when he saw cyclists passing by, and one of them thanked him for that. Thomas did nothing but to nod and decided to sit on the bench in front of the lake, when he suddenly heard a loud noise.

Craaack.

He looked at the ground, seeing that he had stepped into something. He saw the remains of a little porcelain doll, with her head out of her body because he had broken it. He picked it up, looking around to see it’s owner.

A little small girl, with blond hair and pink cheeks got near him, with a sad and crying expression on his face. Thomas looked at the doll and then again at the girl, who was looking at the small toy on his hands. Her eyes suddenly meet his, and Thomas felt a shiver passing through his body.

Her eyes were bright blue. Just like his dead wife, Sophie.

A burning and incontrollable desire took over his body and he wanted nothing more to just wrap his hands on her neck and break her little bones, his desire to see her suffering and crying out of pain got even worse when he heard her voice – so, so similar to his wife’s voice.

“Sir? Can I have it back?”, she said, in a crying tone between her sobs.

Thomas looked again at the doll and then at the girl, a sudden smile appearing on his lips. The girl didn’t noticed the strange way his eyes shine, nor the strange waves of hate that was coming from him.

All he did was smile, and the girl believed that there was nothing in him that could harm her.

“I’m so sorry, dear.”, he said, in he handed the doll back to her. She gave a weak smile. “Is there something I can do for you?”

He bent down to his knees, so that he would stay at the same height that her. His heart was pumping fast, sending blood to every single cell of his body, making strange chocks happen in his spine. The silver knife on his pound suddenly weight thousands, and he could remember the expression of shock, fear and loathe in Sophie’s face when he stabbed her over and over on her heart. And the thought of seeing that expression again made his heart jump out of excitement.

“Do you want some chocolate?”

He was feeling alive again.

“JESSICA!”, someone yelled and the little girl turned around, making Thomas snarl.
His eye contact has been lost, and he couldn’t see more the eyes of his wife – he was just in front of a young girl again.

He stood up, looking for who had interrupted him. A tall woman appeared, a worried look on her dark eyes and her thin and rosed lips twitched, her hair falling off her shoulder like waves.

“Jessica, come back here!”, she yelled again.

The girl named Jessica looked at the doll on her hands, then at Thomas and at the woman that was coming at her direction.

“Right, aunty”, Jessica said in a impatient tone. She turned around and ran for the woman that was her aunt, and another woman appeared, and they all did look quite alike.

“Fynn, there’s no need to be so protective”, the last woman said. The one called Fynn simply shouldered and looked at Thomas in his eyes, with a worried look on her face. “Jessica is fine”

Thomas kept staring at Fynn, his hands on his pocket, holding firmly the end of the knife. He felt an huge urge to simply attack her, for interrupting his work. However, he had to remember he was on the middle of the park, there was a lot of eyewitness there.

He released his grip from the knife and locked the image of the woman on his mind: Fynn. Was it a nickname for something?

When the two ladies and the little girl started going away, he decided to let this for other day. After all, it was an amazing and beautiful day, right?

“What have I taught to you, Jess?” Kathryn demanded, getting near the lake bench, always looking over her shoulder to that strange man. But he was nowhere to be seen.

“Do not talk to strangers” Jessica repeated, rolling her eyes.

“Exactly!” Kathryn exclaimed at her niece, who just kept the bored look and sighed when she saw the broken doll on her front.

Her mother, Laura Jo, took the broken doll from her hands and promised her daughter she would buy another one. With a smile on her face, Jessica jumped and went to play with her other friends.

“You can’t trust anyone, can you Fynn?”, she said, smirking.

Kathryn kept her serious face and did not laugh.

“I’m a detective – I can’t trust anything or anyone”, she said, her eyes looking over where Jessica was. But, when she looked at her sister’s expression, she smiled and said in a mocking tone, “I can’t even trust in you!”

The morning proceed as they planned; Kathryn would only have time to have lunch with them and then she needed to go to work. She said goodbye to her sister and to her niece, and she was getting inside her house when she stopped and turned around to Jessica again.

“Tell me what have you learned today”

Laura Jo rolled her eyes and laughed. But when Jessica answered her aunt, Kathryn face went to joke to total seriousness- and sudden fear.

“That I shouldn’t trust strangers.”, Jessica said, looking at her own feet. “But he couldn’t be a nice guy, he seemed nice! He offered me chocolate!”

Kathryn fell down on her knees and put her hands on her niece’s shoulder, forcing her to look at her eyes.

“What did he do?”, she demanded. Laura Jo frowned, not understanding why Kathryn was so afraid. Her sister didn’t got scared from silly things, she was sure of it. So, whatever was making Kathryn shiver now – should freak the hell out of
Laura Jo. “Tell me Jessica, what did he do?”

Jessica was suddenly afraid of Kathryn attitude, and she tried to back away, but her aunt was holding her firmly.

“He offered me chocolate.”

Kathryn blinked. That was totally familiar to her, and that wasn’t a very nice sensation. She remembered the state of the corpse she had found, all mutilated, ripped and destroyed. And then she looked at her small and little niece – and she could already see what was about to happen.

Kathryn pointed at the door and opened it.

“Please, enter”, she said in a ordering voice. Neither Laura Jo neither Jessica questioned why, but they got in with puzzled expression on their faces.

When they got inside her small living room, Jessica went to play with Stubby,
Fynn’s cat while both grown up went to the kitchen to talk.

“What happened, Fynn?”, Laura Jo asked, worried.

“That guy…. Was a killer”, she answered. Laura Jo looked at her, not believing what her sister was saying. “I’m not kidding, Jo!”

“How can you be sure at that?”

“He offered her chocolate!”, Fynn replied, and her sister simply laughed of her “I’m not kidding! I’m investigating this case at the office, and it’s serious! STOP LAUGHING!”

Laura Jo suddenly was afraid of Fynn’s serious tone. She stopped laughing at the second, looking at her sister. She wasn’t kidding. Her cheeks were red, her eyes were watering – but she tried to cover it.

“Wait… What are you saying?”

“He’s must be the killer I’m looking for. All of his murderers so far involved chocolate”, Fynn answered, and took a breaht “Please, I’m asking – no, begging – for you two stay here while I’m at work. I’m not going to take so long, Harry said he just wanted to talk some small stuff. But please, do not leave, ok?”

Laura Jo looked at her sister’s eyes, fear taking over her body. She nodded, not having the strength of saying anything, and she went to the living room, where she found her daugther.

“Sweetie – we’re going to stay here today, ok?”, Laura Jo said to her daughter, who didn’t questioned.

Jessica sat on her mothers lap while Laura Jo started to pass her fingers through her daughter hair, making a ponytail. Kathryn said goodbye to both of them, breathing heavily while she walked outside of the door. She looked at the sun shinning in yellow in the sky – it seemed such a beautiful and glorious day.

Nevertheless, that gorgeous sky that seemed like a painting wasn’t pleasing her.

Something wasn’t right.

“I’m sorry, Harry, but I can’t stay for too long” Kathryn said as soon as she walked on the office, where she found Harry reading up on some files.

He got up from his chair when she entered, and sat again when she sat on his front. He agreed and opened the file he was reading, showing three photographs; two of them were from women and the last one was from a man.

“I discovered the identities of the victims”, he said, and then pointed at the photo of the man. He had blonde hair and seemed to have fair eyes, and a child-like face.
“Dougie Poynter, the first corpse we found. 22, born in Essex, moved to London a few years ago. Worker at the closed Fletcher’s Chocolate Factory”

Kathryn reached out for the photo, gently touching his hands. She didn’t see him shiver.

“And this one?”, she pointed at one of the woman photographs.

“This is the girl that I saw being stabbed at the alley. She’s Dougie’s sister; Anne Poynter”, he answered.

Kathryn picked a lock out of her hair and started curling it in her finger, thing she did while she was thinking. Harry was suddenly distracted with how fierce her eyes were, but how soft and gentle they could be at the very same time.

He looked at the pictures in the table, forcing himself not to look at the lady at his front.

“This must have something to do with the Poynter family, perharps”, Kathryn said. “The killer must have wanted revenge for something”

Harry nodded without looking at her and showed the last picture.

“This one is Sophie Hallem”, he said. “But I still haven’t found anything of her yet. It seems like she’s just moved to London, but I’ll try to ask to my friends at Oxford or Cambridge”

Kathryn nodded.

“Is this all?”, she asked, impatient.

Harry was suddenly surprised by her attitude, but answered yes.

“Good work, detective Judd.”, she said. “But I need to go now, contact me if you find anything else…”

They both got out of the office and Harry was going towards his car, and Kathryn was going to take a taxi. Harry smirked and pointed at his car and opened the passenger door.

“You’re never going to take a taxi this hour.” he said. “I’ll give you a ride if you want to”

Kathryn looked at the street in front of her, suddenly deserted. She looked at Harry and his car, chewing her lower lip and curling a lock of her hair, thinking if she should accept it or not.

“Ok”, she simply responded, and got inside of the car.

She didn’t see Harry’s face and jumpy expression. He got on and after asking her address, he took the main street and started to drive on it’s direction.

Harry tried to start a conversation, but all she did was to nod occasionally and tap her fingers on her knees. She seemed utterly impatient, and Harry got curious – what was happening to her?

Harry parked right in front of her house after a few minutes of driving in silence, and got off of the car, trying to open the door for her, but she was faster. She seemed to be in a frenesi, and she stormed out in the direction of the door.

Kathryn’s face went pale when she saw the front door was open.

“What happened?”, Harry asked.

Kathryn didn’t respond. She took a breath and closed her eyes shut, opening the door for a bit and opening her eyes slowly. She didn’t got in the house, but something inside made her fall into her knees and start sobbing and crying. Harry was alarmed, he never seen Kathryn having such a breakdown!

He hurried to her, getting at her side, and helped her to get up. He hold her by her waist with one hand, and with the other, he took the hair out of her face and wipped her tears with the tip of her finger.

“Fynn, are you ok?”

She was trembling and shivering. She was fragile, she wasn’t the girl Harry used to know; determined, invulnerable and strong.

“They are… dead.”

Harry opened the door and Kathrynn released herself from his grip, getting on her kness and throwing up at the ground. Harry felt the same urge when he saw what was inside of the living room.

There were two corpses, one from a little girl and another from an woman, that Harry recognized being Kathryn’s niece and sister. They were both fallen on the ground, their expression of terror and cuts on her arms and legs. Their limbs had been cut off from their bodies, and lay at it’s side. Jessica’s mouth had been broken out of her maxilar, and it was sliding slowly in direction of the floor. Laura Jo had her chest completely open, and her heart was missing. Blood was covering all the carpet, and so as another liquid, a dark brown with a red pigment was everywhere.

In the table there was a little note, with a box full of chocolate. Harry didn’t want to read it. He already knew what was written.

And who wrote it.

For years, I felt miserable about being an outsider, but then I suddenly embraced it.

I saw the value of being an outsider. It was liberating.

You didn’t have to worry about trying to fit in or losing your insider status.

It also encouraged you to challenge and provoke the status quo.

Alex Kapranos

The rain was falling outside, the raindrops slowly racing through the window glass. The wind was howling, making the curtains on the open window to float in a ghostly way, and also creating pools of water on the creaking floorboard. The lights weren’t properly working, so there was loads of candles were spread on the room.

The painting of the walls were rather ugly and unfashionable, and it was falling on the ground, full of cloth and mould. It was a very poor room, with no furniture besides a broken chair, an old mirror, a small table, a sofa-bed and a TV that did not work. Half of the floor was covered with some disgusting pink carpet, and the other half was bare wood, and it was extremely cold in it.

A second handed guitar was put against the wall, looking untouched and eager to be played.

Inside the room, it was dreadfully silent. The only noise came from the rain outside, and some howls coming from lost dogs.

Lonely dogs, who were left on the street, wandering through all the open world without no one to love or be loved. They were simply abandoned, lonely souls, who were too afraid of what tomorrow might bring.

And they were never going to have someone at their side again.

Alex curled up onto a ball, hugging his knees on the front of his chest, trying to contain the ache he was feeling onto his heart. It was beating slowly but strongly, like a hammer was trying to perforate his skin from inside. It was also sulking into the deepness of his sadness, scars covering the entire surface of his heart. He could feel a knot on his throat and his eyes were burning, and he was fighting hard from the cold tears that were struggling to roll against his face.

He started to rock himself back and fourth, humming an old song to try to calm himself down. And he was not succeeding on it.

The dagger was lying in the floor a few centimeters from him, laid on the dirty pink carpet. The blood was still fresh on it, and also on his hands – red hot. He could not believe what he had just done, it felt like it was other person doing it; like he was only a puppet and someone was controlling him. Along with the vision of the dagger, memories came back to his head, in a rush and fierceness as a wave crashing on him, suffocating him, drowning him.

Leaving him with no air.

Alex immediately put his hands on his neck, unbuttoning his shirt to stop the asphyxiating him. Those clothes were too tight, they were trying to knock him down with no air! With his hands trembling, he tried to unbutton his shirt, but his fingers were shaking too much for him to coordinate his movements.

His breathing become faster, he was running out of oxygen, he was being strangled by it. His desperation made him get up and continue on his struggle against his piece of clothing, that was too hard for him to remove.

“GET OUT OF ME, GET OUT OF ME!”, Alex yelled.

The blood made his shirt was sticking against his skin, and he was feeling disgusted by that feeling. With now tears of panic falling from his melancholic green eyes, he succeded on unbuttoning three buttons, and realizing he would not be able to perform that again with the rest of the buttons, he ripped his shirt off and threw it on the ground, finally getting rid of it.

He looked down at his own body, and saw that his pants were also filled and stained with that damned red liquid. The tears were now like a fall on his face; his cheeks were extremely red and he couldn’t stop sobbing. With a fast movement, he took of the belt, accidental making a cut on his stomach, and he tried to unzip his jeans.

After he was completely bare, only using his underwear and his socks, he felt more relieved, like he was just set free from an iron cage. There was still straps locking him, compressing his heart and lungs, making him feel distressed; but for now on the feeling of having no clothes suffocating him was enough to let him breathe for just a few seconds.

He suddenly shivered out of cold – it was really cold outside and his naked body was already full of goosebumps of the freezing sensation. But he didn’t want to put any clothes for now.

He walked in the room, being cautious for not to trip on the wet floor, and stopped right in the front of a silver framed mirror, with it’s frame already full of ergot and broken pieces. The glass was scattered right on the top left hand corner, because he had punched it months before that day, and it was reflecting several images of the same thing. Alex could see his face reflected on the surface in four times, and all these four made him disgusted.

His body was extremely thin and weak, his bones appearing through his pale white skin. His eye bags were severely dark, almost black as charcoal; his eyes were injeted, red by the use of drugs and for the lack of sleep. There was almost no color on his cheeks and his lips, and he looked like a dead man. The only reason why he looked alive was the fact that he was standing up and moving.

He reached his hand to touch his reflex, and his fingers were still covered in blood. The liquid sticked in the glass, and soon drops of blood started rolling onto his several reflexes.

Why his life was such a mess? What have he done wrong? He had never hurt anyone, but everyone seemed to enjoy the fact of causing him scars and bruises, and no one had really cared for him to ask how was he doing or if he needed any help.

No one has never cared for him.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the fact that he was hurt and down.

And everytime he was down, they’ve kicked him ever downer to enter a endless well of darkness.

He closed his hands on fist, feeling the cold surface of the glass against the hot blood on his hands. He closed shut his eyes, and rested his head on the broken glass. He was trying to breathe again – now a days, it was easy to forget how to breathe.

Nevertheless, it was his turn now.

It was his time to show the world that he was still human, above all – and as human, he had the burning desire for revenge. Like flames were suddenly licking his heart, he didn’t feel the cold anymore. His own desire for revenge was shielding him, was creating a protecting sheet to cover him from the outside world.

It was his time now to cause pain, and not feel it.

And that was why he had murdered someone.

A cynical smile appeared on his lips, and he finally opened his eyes, looking once again at the reflex on his mirror. Why was he feeling down again? He couldn’t remember.

All he felt was that his heart was lighter now.

He had been so used to pain that it became his friend – and now it was time to use it to show the others how much he had suffered during his 19 years of life.

And he wasn’t going to regret it.

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The wind was slowly blowing through the curtains, making the temperature gets a little chilly. The wardrobe door was open, showing the mess inside; underwear, pants, suits, cloaks and scarves were left there without any organization. The shoes were pilled up near the door and the bed was undone like always, and lying on it, Harry Judd was glancing at the ceiling.

He sighed heavily, feeling his heart sinking more and more when he looked at his side, finding no one at all. He turned on his back, staring at the empty side of the bed. He was on his own, he didn’t have anyone to wake up with.

His profession was strict, and having a relationship was something hard and difficult, and somehow dangerous. It wasn’t ethic to hold on to a relationship, so all he had was little affairs here and there, but nothing long of full of love. He wanted someone to spend hours at his side, someone he could hold tight when it isn’t the brightest days…

And Kathryn Dinamo, his co-worker, invaded his thoughts.

Harry jumped out of bed, shaking his head trying to take her out of his mind. He couldn’t even think of having a long and serious relationship, much less with his partner!

Sure, she was a very nice and funny person, and he loved to work with her – but that was it! His thoughts couldn’t cross that line, it could be very dangerous to both of them.

Harry and Kathryn had been partners over to five years. They started working together since Harry entered on his job; Kathryn’s partner, Nathaniel, had been murdered during a investigation and his place was replaced by Harry. Kathryn, at the beginning, seemed to hate Harry, but three years later she was already nicer and more sympathetic to him. She still was a bit too cold and hard on him sometimes, but he wasn’t bothered with it.

He sighed again, and sat on the end of the bed, looking at the small window on his room. It was a full moon night, and the stars where covering all the sky, no clouds to be seen. It was a wonderful night on London town, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a while, he decided to take a bath and take a walk by the park. It was already on his mind that London wasn’t a very secure place to walk at night, but he wasn’t afraid of it. He knew every street of London at the palm of his hand, and he knew which places to avoid and which places were safer.

After he bathed himself, he put his clothes on and picked the cloak and the scarve. It wasn’t cold, but the wind was blowing in frequency and with humidity, making the temperature goes a bit chill. He picked up his keys and got out of his house, following the direction of the street.

He glaced over to some couples who hurried their way to the street, not wanting to be outside this late hour. He felt a bit of his heart sank when he saw a couple of two young people, where the man was lovingly holding the woman by her waist, kissing her cheek and offering his cloak to her when she shivered of cold.

Harry didn’t want to continue there anymore, and he accelerated his pace.

He was fine the way he was; single. He didn’t have commitment and he didn’t have to be locked up to someone else, he didn’t need to always think of someone else when he wanted to do something new. He smiled when he suddenly he realized he was being all silly about this all; he was better this way.

He looked straight ahead, seeing he was near the old and abandoned Fletcher’s Chocolate Factory. The chocolate fabric was a huge success, and Harry didn’t know why the owner shut it down. Everyone he knew loved Fletcher’s chocolate, and a lot of people were really sad when the fabric ended; him, on the other hand, was indifferent to all of it. He never tasted the chocolate, and neither could do; he was extremely allergic to it.

All of the sudden, his thoughts about relationships and chocolate factories all faded when he heard something strange.

Harry was passing through an alley when he saw some strange noises. It seemed someone calling for help, and he swore he heard someone screaming; it seemed like a woman’s cry. He certificated that his gun was underneath his cloak, so as his badge, and put his hand inside it, touching the metal and cold surface of the revolver. He controlled himself, not letting his emotions take over his mind, and started walking towards the voice, always in the shadows so that he wouldn’t be sighted.

“GET OFF OF ME, YOUR FREAK!”, he heard the woman crying, and Harry knew he was close to her.

“There’s no need to cry, love…”, he heard a man’s voice, saying in a deep and mocking voice “Do you want some chocolate to make all the nightmares go away?”

Harry was near now, he could see two people, five meters from where he was standing. He could see the woman, fighting and struggling to release herself from the man. Harry couldn’t see the man, he was too deep on the shadows to see his face; but Harry could see very clearly the knife he was holding, coruscating and shinning at the moonlight.

Seeing the woman was in a life risk, Harry pointed the revolver to the man’s head. He stood up of where he was, and exclaimed in a loud tone.

“Leave the lady alone!”

He heard the man giggle, and the woman tried to escape from him.

“You, cops, are all so predictable… Don’t tell me, I can guess what you’re going to say next: ‘Otherwise we will have problems!‘” the man joked, and he started to hold the woman tighter. “Tell me if I got it right or not”

“I’m not in the mood for games!”, Harry said, holding the revolver firmly on his hands. If only he could see the man’s face…

“Too bad, I love playing them”, the man said, and with a cold laugh, he hold the knife and sank it on the woman’s back, making her scream of pain and then fall on the ground, dead “Let’s play hide and seek… I hide, you seek!”

And with that, he disappeared on the shadows, leaving the dead woman on the ground. Harry cursed, and started running towards the direction the freak went too. He was running when he suddenly collapsed into something hard, and he fall on the floor on his back.

“What the hell…?”, he groaned, and tried to get up. Now, he could see that there was a large brick wall on his front. When he was on his feet, he looked around, and the only plausible way that he got out of there was if he climbed the wall.

Knowing the man would be really far by now, he decided to see who was the woman. He was sure she was death, but his heart jumped when he checked her pulse and realized it was still there, but weak.

“Lady!”, Harry said, shaking her in a delicate way “Are you listening to me?”

“He said… He said…”, she tried to say, coughing blood. Harry got closer to her, trying to understand what she was managing to say “He said he was an artist –
and that he was making art”

And with that, the woman’s stare got fixed and blurry, and suddenly Harry couldn’t feel her pulse anymore.

“Tell me again how exactly he looked like”, Kathryn ordered.

Harry mumbled something under his breath, in a low voice so that she couldn’t hear. She didn’t seem to notice, and she kept pacing around.

“I already told you – I couldn’t see his face!”, he said in a patient tone.

Kathryn stopped on her spot and turned to Harry, rolling her eyes.

“What did the victim said? What did he said?”

Harry sighed, trying hard not to demonstrate his impatience by answering the same questions again. He told everything again, with showing any expression at all, saying everything he already had said, like he was a recorder. Kathryn frowned
when he mentioned the “artist” and the “game” bit, and she sat on the chair in
front of him.

“So, we are handling with a psychopath killer.”, she finally said, after taking notes on her little notebook.

“Hm?”, Harry interrogated.

“It’s obvious he’s a psychopath. I already locked up a lot of people like him; they say their killings are art, they love to play games with the police and stuff like that.” Kathryn said, her expression neutral “It’s going to be hard to catch him, but soon he’ll be where he belongs – behind bars.”

Harry watched as Kathryn thought like it was everything a routine for her.

“Do you think he’s the same who left the corpse in the park?”, he asked.

Kathryn was about to answer, but closed her mouth. She looked up, thinking of something, and when she answered, she didn’t seem so sure.

“Maybe – you said he said something about chocolate, right? That he offered her chocolate before killing her?” Harry nodded “Maybe that could be a link. He signed the note as ‘the Chocolatier’… It’s soon to assume anything. I think we should investigate a little further.”

Harry nodded again, and when Kathryn got up to her feet, Harry did the same.

“Are we going somewhere?”

“It’s interrogation time!” Kathryn said, picking her badge, gun and cloak. “Where you found the psycho?”

“Near the Fletcher’s Chocolate Fabric”, he answered, picking his belongings.

“Good – that’s where we are heading”, Kathryn said, and opened the door, getting outside of the room.

After a long walk, they found the alley where Harry saw the woman being killed. Both detectives entered it, looking close if there was any hidden passage for somewhere, but they could find nothing. Just an old exit door to the kitchen of a restaurant, and both of them looked at each other, nodding and knowing what they
should do next.

Kathryn knocked on the door, and as no one came to open it, Harry kicked the door and it opened, squeaking. They found themselves at an small and moldy kitchen, full of dust and left overs. Harry almost stepped on a rat that was near by, and Kathryn made a disgusted face when she saw cockroaches in the cupboard.

“Gross”, she said, trying hard not to vomit “Is this place still open?”

“Yes, but no one comes here”, Harry answered, and they both stopped breathing by the nose and started to inhale and exhale by their mouths, so that they couldn’t smell the horrible and disgusting scent that was there.

“It’s hard to figure out why”, Kathryn replied, in a sarcastic tone. They were walking towards the door when a woman appeared, holding a kitchen knife towards them.

“THIEVES! I SAID TO YOU NOT TO COME BACK HERE!”, she answered “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARDS!”

Kathryn and Harry hold their hands in the air, showing a sign of peace.

“With all due respect lady, I ask you to calm down”, Kathryn said, in a relaxed voice “We’re the police, we’re not thieves… I can show you my badge if you want too”

The woman hesitated for a second, but when Kathryn showed her badge, she dropped the knife and her face went red by embarrassment.

“About the killing part… I was just joking”, the woman said. Harry faked a cough to hide his giggle.

“We’re here because we are investigating a murderer.”, Kathryn continued, ignoring what the woman’s said. “And we would like to ask you a few questions”

The woman agreed and lead them towards the entrance of the restaurant, where they could see a dirty balcony, a cacher with spiderwebs in it and unbalanced tables, with thin legs that could break at any second. When the lady offered them a seat, they refused and stood up to their feet, afraid they would fall down.

“You can ask me anything”, the woman said, bitting her lower lip, like she was afraid of the type of questions they would be asking.

“I’m detective Dinamo and this is detective Judd.” Kathryn continued “And you are…?”

“Misses Malou J. Graham” she answered.

Harry looked at the woman, all her clothes were in dark black, like she was in a mourning or something like that. He wanted to ask for who, but Kathryn continued and he realized it should be a stupid question.

“Did you hear or see anything strange last night?”

Malou swinged her head side to side, in a negative way.

“I sleep upstairs”, she said, pointing to the floor above their heads “And I have light sleeps. I wake up from every tine noise, and last night I slept like a rock”

Kathryn wrote something on her notebook, and Malou tried to take a look at what she was writing, but Kathryn handed it over to Harry. Malou looked somewhere else, not being able to look at the fierce detective Dinamo’s eyes.

“How long do you have this restaurant?”

“Today it is it’s seventh birthday.” she answered, and then sighed heavily “It had his brighter and busier days, you know”

Harry looked around. It must have been a hell out of different in the older days, he thought. Malou opened the window and pointed at the monstrously huge fabric behind her tiny restaurant.

“When Mr. Fletcher opened that, people stopped coming here and they started to eat at his restaurant in the front of the fabric. No one else came back here again – even my sister!” she said, and closed the window with a huge strength, making the wooden crackle. “And now that is closed, no one remembered that there used to be a small and housemade cooking restaurant near it.”

She sighed again and stared at the old fabric, daydreaming. Harry hem and she turned to them, remembering they were still there. Both detectives looked at each other and Kathryn pointed at the door.

“Thank you for your kindness, Miss Graham.”, Harry said. “We are leaving now”

Malou went behind the balcony and took an strange and funny looking cake from it, looking a bit old and with very bad taste.

“Wait! Do you want some cake?”, she offered.

Kathryn remembered the cockroaches on the kitchen, and she made a smile, going quickly at the door.

“Thanks, but no… We are at work, we got to do something… else.”, she said, and with that, she stormed outside the door, with Harry at her feet.

Malou looked disappointed when she heard the little doorbells ring and another two costumers go running away. She picked up the cake and threw it at the floor, and sighed heavily while she was looking at the Fletcher’s factory at her window.

She was completely distracted that she didn’t even heard the doorbell ringing again. She only noticed when a man appeared, taking off his cloak, gloves and hat and looked directly in her eyes.

Malou went breathless.

It was a attractive man, with long blonde hair, dark and intense brown eyes and a beautiful – but somehow sarcastic and sinister – smile on his lips. Malou took a quick glance at the mirror when he wasn’t looking, and arranged her hair and tried to un-mash her dress.

“Good evening”, he said, in a polite tone “Is this the famous Miss Malou’s restaurant?”

Malou tried on her best seductive and provocative voice and gaze.

“Yes, it is. What can I do for you, sir?”

The smile on the man’s face went wider.